It can't be the end...But the beginning of something great!!!

It's been five days since I've left. It's been five days since I've seen some of the best people I have had the pleasure to know. It's been five days since I've left behind a little part of me in Vinton, IA.

It was incredible. The last ten months have been filled with happiness, frustrations, joys, and true friendship. It's amazing to think that ten months ago I knew none of the amazing people I can now call family. The experience of FEMA Corps cannot be fully comprehended by someone who hasn't experienced the program fully through. If you ask someone who left in the beginning about the program, they would most likely go down the list of all negatives about everything. But if you then ask someone who stuck it through til the end they'll tell you it wasn't easy or perfect. It wasn't sunshine and rainbows majority of the time. Some of the time we had no work to do! You didn't always get along with everyone on your team. But...they'll tell you also how much it helped them see new perspectives, personally and professionally grew, how to work within a team, and how to take up that leader role in the most odd and unexpected times.

North Central Class 20 grew together. We became closer to each other, we became a family.  I will forever remember the late night talks, the times of wondering around campus, and the many adventures at the Voo. No one but my AmeriFamily will truly understand me when I say "Star That!!!" or the pride I have when I wear my A. No one but Pine 5 will understand my passionate singing to Miley Cyrus Bangers album or why the hell I just screamed randomly. I will forever carry those memories of the last ten months. I will tell anyone that will listen about my experiences in AmeriCorps. I will try my best to explain why I count the plane seats between me and the emergency exit and why I look through all of the emergency brochure, even though I already know it by heart. I will try my best to explain what it was like to live with nine other very diverse group of individuals for ten months. I will try my best to explain to you what the real definition of diversity is and how exactly I found out about it. I could go on and on about my life in AmeriCorps and always come up with some new story. But at the moment I will tell you I am struggling...

It's the little things that I miss. The beautiful starry nights in Iowa as I walked with my friends through the streets of Vinton. The laughter of my teammates as we screamed Miley in the van. The feeing of family as everyone arrived back on campus after rounds. The switching of stories between teams in the booths of the Voo. The feeling of belonging as I walk the halls of the campus and having to say hello every five seconds to someone you know. The fact that I could always find someone to talk to, whatever time it was. But it's not just these little things that I miss. I miss being able to hug Jesse, Jeff telling me to be a good kid, Shosh and I somehow messing something up together, Jess and I randomly screaming together because we're bored, Libby and all the TL's making fun of Tony and I as we realized we were matching, and making fun of Spruce 2. I miss when my team would automatically find me when someone was hurt or sick. I miss the random nights out with the girls of the team. I miss the sound of Shosh picking on Jesse and Jess because of their accents. I miss the random dancing. So I guess you could say I miss a lot.

I have been putting this last post off because of the chaos of graduating and the trauma of the goodbyes. Though they were not final goodbyes, it was on of the hardest things I've done. So now I have to settle back into home life, which has been a lot harder than I thought. But over time I know it will be easier.

Thank you all for your support these past ten months. It means everything to me. I'll end this post with the pledge that is now etched on my heart

 

I will get things done for America - to make our people safer, smarter, and healthier.

I will bring Americans together to strengthen our communities.

Faced with apathy, I will take action.

Faced with conflict, I will seek common ground.

Faced with adversity, I will persevere.

I will carry this commitment with me this year and beyond.

I am an AmeriCorps member, and I will get things done.

here is a little team video http://youtu.be/O6oaUmPzBes

Our little girls date night

Oh, how excited we became for Iowa

Pine!!!! During Unitpalooza

Shosh and I

We won Unitpalooza!

Some of my best friends

When one lays on the floor, we all lay on the floor

The Voo

Love

Pops!

Marcel and I!



Class 20...We made it!!!!

 

It's almost the end...?!?!?!?!!?

It's crazy to think that there is only about a week and a half left of my final round. I've been exploring Colorado, working hard, and trying to fit as many memories as I possibly can. This experience has changed me. I still fully believe in what I have always believed before this program. But now I have experiences that I doubt I would've ever have gotten if I went to college right after high school. I've learned how to work with many different kinds of people. I've learned that first impressions don't really sum up that person. I've learned that for whatever reason people change. I've learned that even when you live with someone for ten months, you don't always know them. The most important thing I think I've learned is that all of those stupid little jokes, laughs, faces, bonding, and pictures are what I will treasure the most. It's funny to think that after ten months with the same nine people, it'll be over like 'insert snap' that! It's mind blowing to think that I probably won't see them again. I hate thinking about it. My teammate Shosh and I talked about it one night and we had to stop talking about it because we both started to tear up. But of course we will see each other again, right??! Ummm...that may very well be false. Time gets in the way of everything. We are all in different stages of our lives, some will be continuing education (may that be undergrad or grad school) others will be starting jobs and then there's me. I'll be traveling, I can feel it in my blood. I caught that bug and I'm going to be riding it until I can't anymore. It's sad to think that we will all just go back to our lives back at home. Across the country, each teammate will be living their life beyond this program, come June 4th. But the great thing about that is the fact that we had that experience together. My teammate once told me that every person you meet somehow makes an impact on you and you make an impact on them. Whether it is good or bad, that is pretty cool! My teammates and I have been talking about how the past nine months have gone, the good and the bad, but we have also talked about how life is going to be like when we all go back home. To actually have money to spend and save. To be able to just drive around, without having to ask for two other people to come with you. To be able to sleep in a real bed. To know the town you are currently living in. To be able to go wherever and whenever. It's a certain freedom that everyone takes for granted before they enter this program. Personally, I can't wait to be independent, and not have to deal with other people all the time! It's exausting! It has worn me down. It has made me stronger. I can't imagine being back home. Besides the first weekend, seeing my mom and my bestfriend at the airport, seeing my brothers and my dad, attending church and greeting everyone with a big smile and hug. Those are simple things for the first five days. But after that...I don't know what to expect. I'm afraid that when I talk to my friends who have all gone to college, I won't know what to say. I have been out of the reality of theirs for so long that I'm not sure if I could keep up. But then again it might be reversed. I just did something so of the normal path, so unique and challenging in it's own way, that my friends might not know how to react. It's these thoughts that run my mind late at night. It's the doubts that keep coming up in my mind that truly scare me. Because my true fear, is that when I go home I won't have anyone to see. Everyone moved on, and may have forgotten about me. Which of course is complete and utter nonsense. But hey, it's just a thought. Life at the moment is... kind of fantastic. The past six weeks my team and I were staying at the Denver campus in a dorm style building. That has been pretty nice! But just the other day we had to move to a church basement. Awww I feel like I'm back home, sleeping on cots, going to a gym facility for showers and having to live with another team in close quarters. It's quit nice, theres a comfy couch to sit on, an air hockey table, and WIFI. It can't better than that. Thank you guys for reading and I am sorry about the lateness of this post!!! I hope you are having a wonderful life!!! Please don't hesitate to comment or try to reach out to me!

Add caption

Laughs at work, always towards the end of the day.

It was a long day, Note: this was taken in the morning.

Another day

We were trying to light the fire...It took about an hour atleast.

Selfie!!! He was my ride when my crutch walked away

Balloons...

My first baseball game!!

The Rockies!!

Her first cracker jack!!

Love cooking!

You will...(The true experience)

When I first began researching for AmeriCorps, the first thing I did was look at personal blogs. All I was looking for was a personal experience. I didn't want sugarcoated writings. I wanted to know if I really wanted to do this program and how did others see it during their time. So that is one of the big reasons why I write in this blog. I want to help the future members of AmeriCorps NCCC FEMA Corps. So this post is exactly for you. Nothing will ever be perfect. You most likely won't LOVE everyone on your team. But that is okay. You most likely won't LOVE all of your projects. But that is okay. You most likely won't LOVE your POCs (Point Of Contact). But that is okay. You most likely won't LOVE your SPIKE housing. But that is okay. You most likely won't LOVE all team dinners. But that is okay. You most likely won't LOVE all of the packing. But that is okay. You most likely won't LOVE everything that is AmeriCorps NCCC FEMA Corps. But that is okay. It's a guarantee that you will agree with atleast one of these statements. This program wears you down thin, trust me on this. I can not tell you how many times I thought of quitting. I can not tell you how many times I have called home to a friend crying. I can not tell you how many times I wanted to punch a few of my teammates on bad days. But the thing is, I wouldn't change a damn moment of the past 8 months. It's these moments when I break down, that I realize how strong I truly am. I learned that sometimes you just NEED to cry. So blubber it up! Scream to the moon and the stars!! Let those tears stream down your face!! Listen to a REALLY depressing song three times in a row!!! Call a friend back home and MAKE THEM tell you what a WONDERFUL person you are! Curl up on the dirty kitchen floor and cry(Trust me, I'm an expert at this one!) Clean the kitchen until it is sparkling clean and then some more! Let all of your stresses, worries, fears, deepest doubts, and anger out!!! Before this program I did not cry. Well maybe a few times, but I believed it was weak, to show such a vulnerable emotion! And now I love a good cry! Hell, sometimes I even cry with my closest teammates(Bonding Time!). It's these moments that you become stronger, more than you could ever know. But on a happy note, the good times definitely outwheighs all of the bad. I have some of the best friends that I could ever ask for to have with me during these ten months. I couldn't think of a better team to be on, then my own! I have gotten close to some people that I know if this was in a different situation we will most likely not be friends. It's truly amazing to have an experiance of meeting and becoming friends with so many unique individuals. This experience is unlike most during a domestic gap year. The age gap is only 18-24. But I wouldn't be friends with some of the older corps members if we all went to the same college. And this is just how things are!! But this program makes it work! And I absolutely love it! This whole experience is crazy. And that's not an exaggeration. You will experience new places with new people. You will do things that you never really thought of. You will find out more about yourself and what you can take before your breaking point. I'm not going to tell anyone that this program is easy. You will be homesick at times. You will be upset at times. You will think of quitting during the late nights you are up. You will be lonely at times. You will get sick of packing. You will get sick! You will get tired of traveling around. You will be exausted at times. You will feel doubt about something you believe in. But you know what? Call me crazy, but for every bad moment you WILL have atleast three great moments!!! Remember it's the small things that really count. It's the laughter that you and your roommate share in the middle of the night. It's the late night conversations with your best mates. It's the bonding moments between you and your Team Leader. It's the times where you fall asleep on your teammates shoulder in the car and they take a picture! It's the times that you and your teammates get to explore a new place. It's the inside jokes that build up as the year goes on. It's the little knowing looks that you can give to your teammates and they can give back. It's the embarassing moments that your team will never let you forget. It's all of these momets and hundreds more! So in conclusion, I am having the time of my life. At the moment I am continuing my work in FEMA Connect, taking CERT(Community Response Team)training, still on crutches, enjoying the beautiful weather here in CO, and soaking up the final round with some of the most amazing individuals that I have ever had the pleasure to work with. Thank you all who is and has been reading! I will try and write again soon but it looks like my time will be very limited due to work and fun! But atlast it is once again time to say good bye and I hope you hava wonderful life. Til next time!!! P.S. For whatever reason the website wouldn't let me post pictures... Sorry!!

DC...Vicksburg...Vinton...now Denver?!?! All in one month

Vicksburg, MS was a whole another world!! Actually the town was like any other town, minus all the Confederate army and the southern accents and greasy food. But overall the experience of going to another campus during training was like nothing I have ever done. The mind sets and moods to the program were so new, so refreshing, that it made me feel excited for work again. It also made me reevaluate my own mind set. It made me realize that it's normal to feel down, under appreciated, worn down, and burnt out. But also, for me to remember what an amazing program and opportunities I have had the privileged to be apart of in the past 7-8 months. Round 2 is finally coming to a close. It's amazing how quick this round went by. This last round tested my strengths, my weaknesses, and my right of mind. My team laughed together, cried together, and at times screamed at each other. But this was all expected. Because in realty, what would you expect when you put ten very different strangers in a house and have them work with each other 24/7? We act like the crazy Brady Bunch family, except without all the hair. We act like the dysfunctional family down the road. We act like the family that we are. We have become a family through all the trials that we have put each other through. Because years from now, when I'm telling someone all about my AmeriCorps experiance, I will show my team photo with pride. So come Third Round I will be in Denver,CO working in Golden,CO! My team and I will be continuing the full development of FEMA Connect, and will be working with another FEMA Corps team to pass it on before we graduate in June. Have you ever just hit one button and feel different afterwards? Have you ever opened up an email and your whole life changed within that second? Have you ever felt a total relief and a rush of adrenaline from one document? But most importantly, have you ever felt that this is the exact reason of your life after reading one small paragraph? Its all of these feelings and actions that came towards me as I finally decided on which path to take after this program. I have made the decision to do another year of service to my community. Next year I will be serving a small orphanage in Nepal for 15 weeks through a program called LoveVolunteers. I will be teaching english and simple counting techniques to children ages 4-14 years old. This oppurtunity is one in a million and I will be serving with pride. It is truly amazing how one's life can be so unexpected, even when you are that person! Thank you all for being so patient with my inconsistent posting! I will mostly likely post again in a week or so. At the moment I am on my way to Coloradooooo!!!! Thank you all and I miss you and love you and please contact me any ways!

Teddy bear style of sleeping. 

The packing of the van 

Vicksburg, MS style of helping 

This was an amazing little restaurant in Vicksburg! 

Packed and ready for the third and final Round! 

We were on our way to Sonic and needed a little breather. 

Our celebration dinner with our POC Chad! 

At the Capitol building in DC 

Those Hips Don't Lie.

The past few weeks have been ... Interesting. Two weeks ago I fell...off the arm of a couch...and cracked my hip...welcome to my life. So I've been crutching around for a week and will be for about 7 more. But nonetheless I have had an incredible support behind me(sometimes literally.) My teammates have learned that I am a very stubborn person when it comes to my health. And at times they force me to sit down and rest (which is very important of course.)

The one thing that I have reflected from these past few weeks is support. Support can come in many different ways. To some it's a smile and to others it's a kidney, these are two are on very different ends of the spectrum of course. My point is that to a single person, the definition of support is unique to them. This concept is highly complicated. Or at least to me it is. I have seen friendships fail because of the lack (or more likely differences between their definitions) of support. I, myself, have had failed friendships because of the constant change of our definitions. Because if you think about it, your definition of support varies from each person in your life. The support I want from my mother is very different compare to my best friend. The support I want from each of my teammates are very different from my team leader. But its not just because of the person, it also depends on what the current situation is. The support that I need right now, is very different from the support I might've needed a few weeks ago. There are so many variables to support, I find it very mind boggling when I try to think about it. So one thing I have learned from this is to take all of  it in consideration. Maybe someone believes all I need from them is a smile, or maybe to be carried down the stairs. It doesn't matter to me now, because all I see is the support they are(or trying) to give me. And to me that is a priceless feeling.

At this moment I am still in DC, but coming this Saturday I will be on my way down to Vicksburg, MS! This is where the southern region AmeriCorps campus is with brand new FEMACorps teams ready to be trained in our program that we have been developing this whole round! I'm very excited for a new landscape and a new day to day change. I have loved my time in DC and I will forever remember the simple(complicated) days of round 2.

Thank you all for waiting and reading!!! I will probably have another post up as we are traveling to Vicksburg! Please share, contact me, or just smile! Any of them are perfect choices!! Love and miss you all! Until next posting, have a wonderful life and spread cheer for all to hear!!!

A snow day!! 

The pizza man felt like drawing 

Pine 5! 

The life of Serving.

 Life is unpredictable. Plain and simple. One day I'm in Upstate NY and the next day I find myself in a whole new world. Its a world that I remember people telling me about as I grew. It's that thing called "The Real World".... and its not a TV show!?! Amazing!

At this moment I am in DC and loving every minute of it! I work in a Head Quarters, I live with friends that have become more like family, and I have no idea where I'll be in a month and a half. What more can I ask for?! Well, there's a lot I can ask for... like more hours in a day... Or maybe more time with loved ones... Or just not having to worry about the future and to just live in the moment. Actually scratch that last one because I'm trying to do that one as I write.

Living in the moment... How? To tell you the truth I have no idea what that phrase refers to! It differs with every person you talk to. To some people it means to not plan for the future, others believe it's for the future, and then there's me. My belief is to ignore that dooming feeling of the future, the nagging remembrance of the past, and the anxiety of the present. I am simply living. I work on the weekdays and relax on the weekends. I wakeup early and go to sleep late. Whenever I leave the elevator I say "Have a good day." to whom ever is still on it. Whenever I see a child, I smile. Whenever I make eye contact with a stranger, I nod and smile. Whenever I see a dog, I want to pet it. Whenever I think of my home, I smile. It's all of these moments that I live day by day with.

These past few weeks have been a mixture of the "make it or break it" and "best time" moments. One weekend my team and I are cutting down invasive species in Virginia and the next weekend I'm visiting some old friends. Last weekend we volunteered at an adoption day for puppies and my heart swelled up at the sight of those dogs. This weekend I relaxed with my team and went into DC to see a Blue Grass show with a friend. But most importantly I served this weekend. I served a place called SOME(So Others Might Eat). This organization is one that will forever have a place in my heart. It's odd because I have only been there twice. But this place has special meaning to me. SOME is a place that does it all, and for all the right reasons. Their goal is to be out of business... because that means no one is hungry.... how beautiful is that?! As soon as you walk into the place you can feel the caring, loving, serving attitude of all the workers. It's contagious. It's this kind of feeling that I search for. To be able to make an impact on someone, even if I don't realize that I have, this is the reason of my being.
"We came to break the bad
We came to cheer the sad
We came to leave behind the world a better way"

Thank you all for being very patient with my long pause between this post and the last!!! Hopefully I can update sometime next week after I get back from Philly(I get to see my oldest brother and his band!!) and before I go to NYC(visiting an old friend!!) ! Once again thank you all and please comment. write, message, call!!! Love you and miss you all!!!   

My name tag from two years ago at SOME. 

 SOME

SOME

SOME

Sunday!!! She was my favorite!

MLK ISP

 This was the night of my birthday!

Night with some of my girls!!
 

YOLO (I'm sorry about this title)

Hello to all!! I am now living in College Park, MD, about thirty minutes out of the bustling city of DC. We arrived a little over a week ago, after driving a few days worth of traveling and seeing the slow transformation from Midwest to the east coast. We are living in a cottage called Abigail Adams. We all have beds, one roommate, two TVs with cable, a full kitchen, and most importantly four bathrooms. It's funny how living in a house makes the team seem like a real family. We all have chores around the house, we cook every night, we watch movies together, and we relax with each other.

Being able to say that I, Annaliese Schmiel, has worked at FEMA's Head Quarters at the age of 18, is an honor. Every morning I walk into the NRCC (National Response Coordination Center) to work is incredible! I always feel so important and official, as I say 'good morning' to all the people I pass. The NRCC kind of looks like something in a CIA movie, computers everywhere and the big screens running news 24/7 up on the walls, the first time I saw the room I was in awe. But the BEST thing about working there is...the opportunity to go to the daily OPs debrief. Its this little secretive room with a long shiny wood table, where all the heads of the departments sit. The 9 big screens on one wall shows all the other important facilities on air. Personally, my favorite part of the whole room is the world day light clock.

 But in the serious sight of opportunities, my POC's are planning to help us network within the fields of occur interests. The fact that I have the opportunity to have interviews with people from the Red Cross, Peace Corps, and the endless non-profit businesses within our country's capitol is mind blowing. When my POC's Chad and Emma asked me what I'm interested in, I of course froze. What do I want to do for the rest of my life? It's this concept that gives me anxiety whenever I think of it. Because I have no idea. Well, actually that's a lie. I have some ideas, such as being an EMT or a Occupational Therapist, or maybe a nurse, or maybe go into non-profit business, hell I've even thought about being teacher(very briefly)! I have all of these ideas.... but no clear picture of what I want to do. All I know is that I want to help people. That's it! Simple...right? Of course not! If I have learned anything in this program, its the fact that this world is complex. Even the most simple thought will lead you through mountains and mountains of trouble, just to get to that simple outcome. But another thing I've learned is that this complexity of going through so much is what makes the outcome so great. Because if you think about it, all the simple outcomes become something extraordinary once they make it to the final mountain. Would you rather have a store bought blanket with you when you are away from home for so long, or would you rather have the blanket that someone you love thought of and acted on making it for you? Personally, I have a blanket that a very important leader made me and I bring wherever I go. It's this blanket that I look at when I'm feeling discourage from a day at work, I read the messages from my squad family and I smile. I smile because I know I can make through all of my insecurities and make a difference. Because in realty all I want to do in this crazy life of mine, is to make a mark. To leave behind a ripple in the water. To know that when I leave, people will remember me, what I've done, and what I stand for. So I guess what I'm trying to say here is that I know what I want to do...the only problem is that I don't think it's a job that exist fully. which only means I need to continue to search the world, meet as many people I can and just hope that I somehow make a difference.

In conclusion, I'm in DC and working on a new program. I'm loving the life in Pine 5 household. And I will be searching what to do next.

Thank you all for reading and I apologize for the lateness! Hopefully I can get another one up next week and I'll be talking more about my project and the ISP that my team and I are doing tomorrow!! Love you all and Miss you all! Til next time, Have a wonderful life!!!! P.S. please do comment, or email, or call, or write!!! I love to talk to everyone!!

This pin is from a small store in Colorado, it sums up everything.

Homewards and Forwards!

So here's to another end of a great year! To think a year ago I was still in high school and could only think of my future in college! Well here I am a year later in Vinton, Iowa and I have already traveled through Colorado, a state I have always wanted to be in, and planning on going to DC.

During my break I decided to go home and surprise almost everyone, and I actually succeed!! My mom flipped out and cried...my dad attacked me with a hug...my friends all mauled me with bear hugs... my kids that I babysit ran to me... my brothers were confused... my dogs jumped on me... and my soul became warm. The feeling of being back home after four months was odd. I had this feeling that AmeriCorps was all a dream and I just woke up in the same sleepy town. Then again I also felt like being home was all a dream, I would wake up any second in Vinton, Iowa. There were times that I felt like I missed so much within my family... Which is true! I missed the small moments that made a difference. I missed the simple laughs of my brothers. I missed the simple smiles from my mom. I missed the simple mornings with my dad. I missed the simple times that made bonds between people. I've never realized the impact that time has on my home when I'm away. 

I was scared to go home for break. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to go back to AmeriCorps. I kept on thinking 'what if I want to stay?' 'What if something happens that makes me stay home.' 'What if my friends have forgotten about me?' 'What if my family is awkward towards me because I left them?'. The What if's made me extremely anxious towards going home for the break. But when I saw my three friends at the airport when I landed, my worries vanished as I ran to them and we all hugged. On the car ride to surprise my mom and the kids I babysit, my worries came back to me in waves. But the biggest wave of worrysome was right before I walked into the door. Knowing my mom was only a few feet away and the fact that she had no clue made me grin, nerves got to my mind. My mind quickly ran through all the possibilities of her reactions. Right when I almost had a panic attack I walked in... My mom cried, screeched, screamed, smiled, yelled, and crushed me with a hug... And it was priceless. My worries melted away with each person I hugged. My heart lifted as the all the kids I babysat remembered me and told me how much they've missed me. The best part of all this was the fact that everyone was so intrested in my stories. I've been around the same people so much, that it felt odd telling people all of my stories. Each time I told someone a story, they would look so happy to hear it. I found new pride in my life choice each time someone told me they were jealous. So I guess going home did the complete opposite of what I thought it would do. Instead of drawing me back in, it pushed me to go further in the world and to do my best so I can make everyone proud. 

So here is a posting! I am so sorry for having it a bit delayed. I will post one as soon as I get to DC!! Thank you all for your patience! Til the next post, have a wonderful life!!!! 

A great tradition of the Giving Season!! 

A very small Tree 

My Mama!

Good ole Chester missed me!