So the fact that it is almost Thanks Giving kind of freaks me out. This will be my first of many holidays and birthdays away from my family and friends. That honestly scares me. It reminds me that I will miss important times with the people that I love. My usual traditional Thanks Giving is just an relaxing day with my family, eating food, playing games, taking naps, and teasing each other. I'll miss teasing my youngest brother about losing at a game that we are playing, and seeing his face get all red when he argues back. I'll miss my oldest brother making fun of me about something stupid and when I throw a comeback, seeing his crooked proud grin. I'll miss my second oldest brother playing guitar at every second and trying to teach me a new song on my guitar. I'll miss talking to my favorite Uncle about all things in life and some more. I'll miss cooking in the kitchen with my Aunt and giggling as we sing all sorts of her favorite childhood songs. I'll miss waking up in the morning and watching the Macy Day Parade with my Mom. I'll miss peeling potatoes with my Dad as he tells me once again all of his childhood stories. I'll miss the stillness of the house that night, once everyone has settled and the aroma of our day still lingers. It's all of these simple actions that make the day so important to me. It's the fact that we all come together for one day, and we are all just simply there.
And I know it's just another thing to miss, a fact of living my kind of life now. But it's something that I think I need to remember on why it was, is, important to me. This is something to keep me grounded. To keep me grounded in the sense of belonging somewhere. As long as I keep in touch with these memories and my dearest friends and family, I'll know that I belong somewhere special and forever, no matter where I will be in the world. Its the memories of my Saturday night crew, Martha Ice Cream runs senior year, Sunday school classes, Play practices, the adventures of Planet Fitness and Target, those early Sunday diner runs with my Dad, jamming sessions with my brothers, the special dates with my favorite little kids, the special dates with my favorite big kids, and all the late night conversations with multiple friends. Its these memories that comes to mind when I become homesick. And you would think remembering them would make me sad and just wanting to go home. But the truth is, that these memories make me stronger. It's what makes me happy at the end of a long rough day. It makes me realize how many people I have that are behind me and will stand behind me to catch me if I ever fall.
Working at the distribution center can either make you jaded or can be a humbling experience. The fact that we have to always be in a mindset of caution, can make the times rough. We need to make sure that the client is not abusing the center, which means I have to tell people that they can't take this or that, oh and whatever that thing is, because we believe that you are taking advantage of the whole center. How can you nicely put that to someone, who may even have four children with them? I've felt embarrassed, humiliated, angry, and just plain shame in doing my job at times. Its these moments that you can become jaded. You look at every client and wonder if they are really in need or are they just taking advantage. I hate it. I hate when these thoughts come into my mind. It feels like these thoughts are just coming in like a black plague. They ruin your whole look out on that day and a few.
But then I talk to a client that comes in regularly, always just taking barley enough for a week. I ask how their day is, and they wonder how my day is. They ask me where I'm from, and what I want to do in life. They ask what's my family like, and how can I possibly be away from them at my age during the holidays. They tell me all about how happy they are that the center even exists. They tell me how grateful they are that they have found this knick-knack or that knick-knack because it reminds them of something from their past. They tell me how hard it has been since the disaster, and how this person or that group has helped them in some way. They rejoice with me when they have good news. And most of all they say Thank you, and they truly mean it. When was the last time that you said thank you to someone who simply just packed your bags for you? I can't think of a single time I have done that. I have met so many great people that won't ever realize how much they have inspire me to do my job.
No matter what you do, there will always be a flipside. The flipside can either be better or worse than the other. The coin can be flipped in matter of seconds, hours, days, years, or a lifetime. If you look at a coin, it never seems to be smooth, stable when its on the move, or simple. If you look at your life, when has it been smooth, stable when your on the move, or simple? So my flipside to my Thanks Giving is that I'll be spending it in the Mountains of Colorado, cooking and relaxing with my freshly new family. I'll be thinking of my mom as my teammates and I watch the Macy Day Parade. I'll be thinking of my brother as I play my guitar, couldn't help myself when I bought the damn thing in Longmont,CO. I'll be thinking of my brother when I bicker with my team. I'll be thinking of my Uncle as I talk about life with my teammates. I'll be thinking of my Dad and Aunt as I cook the potatoes and a few other side dishes and sing. I'll be thinking of how lucky I was to have those memories, and how lucky I am to be able to make new memories with the people I call my teammates.
Happy Thanks Giving!! I truly hope that you have a wonderful day full of blessings and giving's. I truly hope that you reminisce your past Thanks Giving's and remind yourself that you are grounded because of the people that have loved you and the people who love you today. So at last must bid you a goodbye until the next post. I miss and love you all.
P.S. If you want please comment, write a letter, or even call to just say hi!!!!
My oldest brother and I before I left. 
My two best friends the night before I left.
My new family.
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